First and Key

Hello,

My name is Taylor. Welcome to my blog. This blog will be I believe my 3rd but I am using it under a different screen name for the fact that I don't want all my fans (aka friends) of my other blog to know about my bisexuality and the fact that I'm in love with my best friend. Since about, I dunno 4 months ago? Ya, I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with my dear buddie but don't get me wrong, we have a totally normal teenage bff relashionship although we have a small obsession with making up little stories about hitting her mother with a fly swatter. You're next question probably is does she love me back? No, she does not though she has a little crush she is busy in her own boy relashionships which I have come to accept.

Before I go any farther I want to say thank you to my dear friend and inspiration Deb. I hope you'll get to read this sometime :)

Today I was informed that my love and I may be torn apart by her mother who may be taking a job up in Oregon. Her mother isn't very lovely you see and does what she can to torment her daughter so we're planning to run away before it can happen or calling the police. You see (sorry I am not using names but I'd like to respect the fact that they probably don't want their names up here) her mother is abusive and it worries me a great deal. I mean it's not black eye, just usually a slap on the face, but still it's wrong and she mentally abuseses her by being a "fun sucker." The mom sucks the fun out of virtually everything! Well, no, that's wrong. See our theory is that she is Satan's ex-wife and was thrown out of hell, adopted her now daughter and cheers her up just to bring her down and feeds off her sorrow. Sad huh? But most likely true. Hmph. The point being is that my buddie needs out of that house!!! What to do?!?

I've come to discover through Deb that I need a stronger connection with God and until then I am getting advice from her. I was told once by a friend that the closer your with God the easier you here Him. Over the years I've drifted in and out of connction but it was really nothing too impressive. I want to hear Him. I just wish I could figure out how. I'm starting with reading the bible in hopes that it may lead me in the right direction. I wish I could go to church but it makes me quite uneasy for some reason and many Christians don't except my type of sexuality... not that I would tell them but I would just know that I was unwanted, a not-so-loverly feeling. Most of the lessons about the bible and stuff I learn at camps I go to. I started going to christian camps when I was young and my grandmothe sent me, now all my cousins go to a certain one but I have branched off and go to horse camp. It is there where I will be going soon for another exciting year. Last year I asked questions, took notes, and sang songs with feeling and this year ya know what? I plan to do just that only better. I am determined!!!!

I am very indeed sorry to depart and I apologize that this probably hasn't been the most interesting first post but I am working on becoming a more serious and honest blogger so I hope you'll give me a bit longer.

To my dearest inspiration and friend
~Deb

p.s. THANK YOU!!! :)

p.p.s. what should I do about my friend and her mom?!