The Latest

Today was a very sad and heart-ripping/tear-jerking day as I was ripped apart from my friends. Moving day? No... the last day of school. Most kids look upon it as "WHOOT! SCHOOLS OUT!!! YAY!! FREEEEE!" but I personally enjoy school. There I can be with friends and the one I love. I looked at her doing my best not to burst out in tears as my bus pulled away from the curb and headed to it's desitination. We hugged tightly before I left but what I really wanted to do was to kiss her goodbye but I must respect her wish to not... she must have her first kiss with a gentelman. Now, you may think I am being ridiculous and I can always talk to her during the summer.... but what if her mom doesn't let her? And we never get the chance to talk on the phone. It's just all very saddening. Luckily due to the school board the summers are getting shorter and so it'll only be about two months... though I imagine it will seem quite long.
Luckily I snapped many photos of my friends and brought a big board to school and had all my pals sign it. When I get home I am going to hang it up on my wall and with some pictures and scrapbook the rest. I can't wait to be back with everyone. I've never had a better gang of friends. All their little notes on the board were so nice and my heart soared when I found that they really did think I was funny and nice. You see there are some people at shcool who treat me very poorly and say I am dumb and not funny. Also I can be mean and so I get worried. But my friends really do think I am nice and I was showered in great strong hugs. My spirits are so much higher. I guess you just need to look at the positive things more so than the negative. That's what I tell my friend, I'll just give her the name Natasha because I don't think she'd want me using her really name.... which would bring me to my next issue.
Natasha has been one of my best friends since... oh I dunno 4th or 5th grade. When we went to middle school we went to different schools and she has changed. Natasha and I are still friends and still hang out only with a couple differences.... a couple BIG differences. Natasha is a depressy, moody, and negative girl now... did I mention she cuts her arms? She also threeatens to run away and blames everything on herself. She says her mother doesn't let her do anything when actually she has it pretty good and is just being a brat. For example- she now wears trashy, baggy, black goth clothes. We were in this store and she wanted this really ugly goth black long skirt... very trashy and it cost $50!!!!!!! Her mother said no (thank god) and she threw a fit. The cutting thing is a serious concern though it isn't as bad as I thought cause it's only scratching. (whew) The WORST issue I believe is over the devil-worshipping band "HIM" and I asked "Natasha" and she said she's no longer christian. I don't think she's devil-worshipping but not far from it. What do I do??? I don't want to lose her friendship but I don't want her to be this way anymore. She was once a fun-loving and cheerful girl and now she is depressy and quite rude to her friends, even me (only not so bad). She tells them to shut up when they just want to comfort and be nice to her. It's sooooo stressful. I'm losing my friend fast and she's more and more making her own misery. WHAT TO DO?!?!? Life is hard but she's making it so much harder on herself and the HIM band and some of the friends she has aren't curing the problem and don't care. Ugh, I am so irritated because she is so selfish! *grrrrrrrrrr*

Sorry about that.... listen people I need to go for now but will be back soon.

DEB, I NEED ADVICE!!!